Seeing Beyond Control: The Invitation to Awareness
In the profound words of Anthony de Mello, "Stop trying to control. Start trying to see." This invitation speaks to the heart of our human experience, urging us to relinquish the illusion of control that so often governs our lives. In a world where we strive to manipulate outcomes and dictate circumstances, de Mello beckons us toward a deeper awareness—one that invites us to observe life as it unfolds, rather than attempting to shape it according to our desires. This shift from control to perception is not merely a change in approach; it is a transformative practice that can lead to profound inner peace and clarity.
De Mello's call to "see" is not about passive observation; it is an active engagement with reality that requires courage and vulnerability. It challenges us to confront the layers of our conditioning, the fears that drive our need for control, and the distractions that cloud our vision. By embracing this practice of seeing, we open ourselves to the richness of life, allowing ourselves to experience the present moment fully. This journey toward awareness is essential, as it fosters a deeper connection with ourselves and the world around us, ultimately leading to a more authentic and fulfilling existence.
The image / the metaphor
The imagery in de Mello's quote is strikingly vivid, contrasting the concepts of control and seeing. Control suggests a tight grip, a clenching of fists around the reins of life, while seeing evokes a sense of openness and receptivity. The verbs chosen—"stop" and "start"—imply a deliberate choice, a conscious decision to shift our focus from the external to the internal. This felt sense of movement from constriction to expansion encapsulates the essence of the spiritual journey: moving away from the ego's need for dominance and toward a more expansive awareness of being.
In the speaker's tradition
Anthony de Mello's teachings are deeply rooted in the Christian mystical tradition, which emphasizes the importance of inner transformation and direct experience of the divine. Concepts such as kenosis—the self-emptying of one's will—resonate with de Mello's call to relinquish control. This notion of letting go is mirrored in various spiritual traditions, where the idea of surrendering the ego leads to a deeper connection with the essence of life. In this context, seeing becomes a form of spiritual awakening, a path toward realizing our true nature beyond the confines of the self.
In his work "Awareness," de Mello draws parallels between the act of seeing and the practice of mindfulness found in Buddhism. Just as the Buddha taught the importance of awareness and presence, de Mello encourages us to cultivate a state of being that transcends our habitual patterns of thought. This alignment with both Christian mysticism and Eastern philosophies highlights the universality of the teaching: that true freedom arises not from control, but from a profound awareness of the present moment and the acceptance of life as it is.
Living the teaching
Consider a modern scenario where this teaching can be applied: a workplace filled with deadlines and pressures. In such an environment, the instinct to control outcomes can lead to stress and anxiety. However, if one were to embrace de Mello's invitation to "see," they might shift their focus from trying to micromanage every detail to observing the dynamics at play. This could involve recognizing the strengths of colleagues, understanding the flow of projects, and allowing for a collaborative spirit to emerge. By stepping back and cultivating awareness, one can navigate challenges with greater ease and creativity.
Another application of this teaching can be found in personal relationships, particularly during conflicts. Often, the desire to control the narrative or to "win" an argument can cloud our ability to truly listen and understand our partner's perspective. By practicing the art of seeing, we can approach disagreements with a sense of curiosity rather than defensiveness. This shift allows for deeper communication and connection, fostering an environment where both parties feel heard and valued. In this way, the practice of seeing transforms not only our internal landscape but also the quality of our relationships.
A reflection
As we contemplate de Mello's profound words, we are invited to reflect on our own lives: In what areas do we find ourselves clinging to control, and how might we begin to practice seeing instead? This question serves as a gentle nudge toward self-inquiry, encouraging us to explore the ways in which our need for control may be limiting our experience of life. By embracing the practice of seeing, we can cultivate a deeper awareness that enriches our journey and opens us to the beauty of existence as it unfolds.
