Teaching on relaxation
“The greatest practice is to relax behind every experience.”
MS
Michael Singer

Michael Singer's assertion that "the greatest practice is to relax behind every experience" invites us to reconsider our relationship with the myriad events that shape our lives. In a world often characterized by stress and urgency, this perspective offers a profound shift: rather than becoming entangled in our experiences, we can cultivate a state of relaxation that allows us to witness life with clarity and ease. This teaching matters deeply, as it encourages us to step back from the chaos of our thoughts and emotions, fostering a sense of inner peace that transcends the fluctuations of daily existence.

To relax behind every experience is not merely to adopt a passive stance; it is an active engagement with the present moment, a conscious choice to observe rather than react. This practice invites us to embrace the fullness of our experiences—both joyful and painful—without becoming overwhelmed by them. By doing so, we create a spaciousness within ourselves that allows for deeper understanding and acceptance, ultimately leading to a more harmonious way of being in the world.

The image / the metaphor

At the heart of Singer's quote lies a rich imagery of relaxation as a foundational practice. The verb "relax" suggests a softening, a letting go of tension that often accompanies our experiences. To "relax behind" implies a position of observation, as if we are stepping back from the stage of life to witness the unfolding drama without becoming enmeshed in it. This metaphor evokes a sense of detachment that is not cold or indifferent but rather a warm embrace of the present moment, allowing us to experience life fully while remaining anchored in our inner stillness.

Diving deeper into this metaphor, we can envision relaxation as a gentle river flowing behind the tumultuous waves of our experiences. While the waves may crash and swell, the river remains steady, providing a constant source of support and nourishment. This image encourages us to cultivate a sense of inner calm that can withstand the storms of life, reminding us that our true essence is not defined by the ups and downs of our experiences but by the unchanging presence that observes them.

In the speaker's tradition

Michael Singer's teachings are deeply rooted in the non-dual tradition, which emphasizes the interconnectedness of all existence and the illusion of separation. Concepts such as *sunyata* (emptiness) and *kenosis* (self-emptying) resonate with the idea of relaxing behind experiences. In this context, relaxation becomes a pathway to realizing our true nature, which is not bound by the transient nature of thoughts and emotions but is instead a vast expanse of awareness that embraces all experiences without attachment.

In *The Untethered Soul*, Singer draws upon the wisdom of various spiritual traditions, echoing the sentiments found in texts like the *Bhagavad Gita*, where the practice of detachment is celebrated as a means to achieve inner peace. The Gita teaches that by performing our duties without attachment to the fruits of our actions, we can cultivate a state of equanimity. This aligns beautifully with Singer's call to relax behind every experience, suggesting that true freedom arises when we release our grip on outcomes and allow life to unfold as it will.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching can be applied: imagine navigating a challenging work environment filled with deadlines and interpersonal conflicts. In such a setting, the instinct may be to react defensively or to become consumed by stress. However, by practicing relaxation behind these experiences, one can cultivate a sense of calm that allows for clearer thinking and more compassionate interactions. This approach transforms the workplace from a battleground into a space for collaboration and growth, where challenges are met with grace rather than resistance.

Another application of this teaching can be found in personal relationships, particularly during moments of conflict. When disagreements arise, the tendency is often to become entrenched in our positions, leading to escalation and hurt feelings. By choosing to relax behind the experience of conflict, we create an opportunity to listen deeply and respond with empathy. This shift not only diffuses tension but also fosters a deeper connection, allowing both parties to feel seen and understood, ultimately enriching the relationship.

A reflection

As we contemplate Michael Singer's profound insight, we are invited to reflect on our own experiences: how often do we find ourselves entangled in the emotional currents of life? What would it mean to relax behind these experiences, to observe them with a sense of detachment and acceptance? In this moment of reflection, consider this contemplative question: What would shift in your life if you approached each experience with a sense of relaxation and openness, allowing yourself to simply be present without judgment or expectation?

Artist
Michael Singer

Wisdom from Michael Singer.

Got Questions?

Michael Singer's phrase suggests that instead of becoming entangled in our experiences, we should cultivate a state of relaxation that allows us to observe life without attachment. This practice encourages us to witness our thoughts and emotions without being overwhelmed by them, fostering a sense of inner peace.
You can apply this teaching by consciously choosing to step back from stressful situations and observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Practicing mindfulness or meditation can help you cultivate this sense of relaxation, enabling you to respond to life's challenges with greater clarity and calm.
Yes, the concept of relaxation and detachment is echoed in various non-dual texts, such as the *Bhagavad Gita*, which emphasizes performing actions without attachment to their outcomes. This aligns with the idea of observing experiences without becoming enmeshed in them.
Relaxation refers to a gentle, open state of being that allows us to witness our experiences, while detachment can imply a more rigid separation from emotions. In this context, relaxation is about embracing experiences with ease, whereas detachment may suggest a lack of engagement.
Mindfulness meditation is a powerful practice that supports living this teaching. By regularly setting aside time to observe your thoughts and feelings without attachment, you can cultivate the relaxation that Singer describes, allowing you to respond to experiences with greater awareness.
To cultivate relaxation in stressful situations, practice deep breathing techniques or grounding exercises that bring your awareness back to the present moment. Regularly engaging in mindfulness practices can also help you develop a habit of relaxation, making it easier to apply in challenging circumstances.

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