Love It or Leave It: Valentine's Weekend Gets Weird
Valentine's Day falling on a Saturday this year means NYC is pulling out all the stops—and honestly, some of them are pretty unhinged. We've got 100 events to choose from this weekend, ranging from legitimately romantic to "did someone actually approve this?" Here's what's worth your time (and what might scar you for life).
The Romance You Actually Want
Skip the basic dinner-and-a-movie routine. Valentine's Day Dinner + Salsa Dancing at Elsie Rooftop (Saturday) combines Manhattan skyline views with the kind of dancing that'll make you forget you have two left feet. It's intimate without being cheesy, and the rooftop setting means you're not trapped in some windowless hotel ballroom with artificial roses.
For something more low-key but equally charming, Valentine's Day Kompa Dance Class on Saturday at 520 8th Ave teaches you Haiti's answer to bachata. The music is infectious, the moves are surprisingly easy to pick up, and you'll leave with a skill that'll impress at every future wedding.
Theater Worth the Tourist Crowds
"Oh, Mary!" at the Lyceum Theatre continues its improbable run as the smartest dumb show on Broadway. This irreverent take on Abraham Lincoln's marriage is filthy, historically questionable, and absolutely hilarious. Saturday tickets are still available, though good luck explaining the plot to your grandmother.
Meanwhile, "Stranger Things: The First Shadow" at the Marquis Theatre (Sunday) proves that Netflix IP can actually work on stage. Set in Hawkins' past, it's got the supernatural thrills without relying on nostalgia as a crutch. The practical effects alone justify the ticket price.
Music That Matters
Brandi Carlile's "The Human Tour" at Madison Square Garden Sunday is the weekend's don't-miss concert. Carlile's voice can fill the Garden without losing its intimacy, and her recent Grammy wins mean she's performing with the confidence of someone who finally got the recognition she's always deserved. Expect tears—the good kind.
On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, Club 90s Presents Heated RivalRave at Irving Plaza (Sunday) is exactly what it sounds like: aggressive nostalgia set to a beat you can actually dance to. It's 18+ for a reason, and that reason isn't just the late end time.
The Weird Stuff That Might Be Brilliant
"Two Strangers (Carry a Cake Across New York)" at Longacre Theatre Sunday somehow involves the New York Rangers and is categorized as "sports," which tells you absolutely nothing and everything you need to know. Theater meets performance art meets... cake transportation? Sometimes the best nights are the ones you can't predict.
The Banksy Museum gets three separate listings this weekend, which either means it's incredibly popular or someone's having database issues. Either way, it's worth checking out—the unauthorized nature makes it feel appropriately subversive, even if Banksy himself probably isn't getting a cut of the ticket sales.
Food and Drink Done Right
Dinner & Tequila Tasting at Hard Rock Cafe Sunday sounds like a recipe for disaster, but their tequila program is surprisingly sophisticated. Plus, there's something deeply satisfying about sipping premium agave while surrounded by rock memorabilia. It's not where you'd expect to learn about terroir, but that's what makes it work.
What to Skip
We're legally obligated to mention that something called "Couples Er0tic Massage of Love" is happening Sunday near Union Square, with the address provided only after ticket purchase. That's not mysterious—that's a red flag with a bow on it. Spend your money literally anywhere else.
This weekend's got options for every mood, relationship status, and tolerance for theatrical cake transportation. Choose wisely, New York. Your February depends on it.
